Why Transitions Are Hard (Even Good Ones)

Transitions are challenging, even when they’re positive or something we want. Changing activities, environments, roles, or routines requires the nervous system to shift gears, and that takes energy.

Our brains are wired for predictability. Even familiar or uncomfortable patterns can feel safer than change because the nervous system knows what to expect. When something shifts - whether it’s the environment, expectations, or activity - the nervous system may respond with heightened alertness until a sense of safety (predictability) is re-established.

For many people, especially those who are neurodivergent or sensitive to sensory input, transitions can trigger anxiety, irritability, or shutdown. This isn’t resistance or refusal. It’s the nervous system signaling discomfort or a move outside the window of tolerance.

Even when reactions aren’t intense or obvious, transitions still require work. The nervous system has to pause what’s happening, reorient, and engage with something new - all while trying to stay regulated. That process uses energy, attention, and flexibility, which may be in limited supply depending on stress, fatigue, and sensory load.

Supportive transitions often include preparation, visual or verbal cues, extra time, and compassion. Knowing what’s coming next, having reminders, or allowing for slower shifts can help the nervous system adjust more smoothly. These supports don’t make someone dependent - they make regulation possible.

Struggling with transitions doesn’t mean you’re inflexible or doing something wrong. It means your system needs support to move from one state to another. With understanding and the right tools, transitions can become more manageable over time.

Understanding comes before change.