When Talking About Feelings Feels Impossible

Therapists are often asked "What's the difference between emotions and feelings?" One helpful way to think about the difference is emotions begin in the body and feelings are how we make sense of that experience with thoughts and language. Emotions often show up as physical sensations, including tightness in the chest, a knot in the stomach, fatigue, restlessness, or urges to act. Feelings are the labels we use to describe or summarize those experiences, such as embarrassed, hurt, or left out.

This distinction isn’t rigid or universally defined, but it’s a commonly used framework in psychology and therapy because it helps explain why emotions can feel overwhelming or confusing before we have words for them.

If talking about feelings feels difficult, you’re not doing therapy “wrong.” You may simply need a different entry point. For some people, this looks like art therapy, sand tray therapy, music therapy, or other expressive approaches. For others, it may start with noticing body sensations, identifying what happened right before the reaction (the prompting event), and then finding a name for the emotion.

Therapists understand that emotions often begin in the body and that language comes later. Not everyone is wired to immediately talk about feelings. Some people need time to process the physical experience before words can be used to communicate feelings to others. Others may recognize what they feel long before they can explain it.

Therapy isn’t about forcing one “right” way to express emotions. It’s about discovering your process and then working from there.

This chart is inspired by DBT and increases emotional awareness.

Emotion	Sensations	Prompting Event	Interpretations of Prompting Events
Anxiety	Shakey/jittery Increased heart rate Nausea Feeling clammy Urge to run away Muscle tension Difficulty breathing	Being threatened Feeling exposed Feeling vulnerable Feeling criticized Anticipating criticism Making a mistake	Believing you might get hurt Believing you might die Assuming you will embarrass yourself Believing you are losing control Assuming you will be rejected or criticized Assuming you will fail
Shame	Urge to shrink/hide Covering face/body Sense of dread Pit in the stomach	Being rejected Being criticized Being betrayed Being invalidated Comparing yourself to others	Believing you will be rejected Thinking you're less than others Believing you have disappointed someone else Thinking you're defective Thinking you're unlovable
Guilt	Making effort to change behavior Self-help	Violating your personal values Transgressions against something or someone you value	Thinking "My behavior was bad." Thinking you behaved badly Thinking your action was wrong
Anger	Clench jaw Feeling flush/hot Muscle tension Unable to stop tears Wanting to hit someone	Things not turning out as expected Being attacked Having a goal blocked Physical/emotional pain You or someone you care about being threatened	Believing you have been treated unfairly Believing things should be different than they are Judging the situation as wrong Rigidly thinking "I'm right"
Sadness	Tightness in throat Urge to cry Feeling tired Feeling empty Crying Breathlessness Low energy	Losing someone or something Death of a loved one (pets count) Not getting what you worked for Being around someone who is sad Being alone or lonely Hearing about other people's problems or troubles in the world Realizing you are powerless or helpless	Believing you are worthless Viewing your life as hopeless Believing you will be separated from someone you care about for a long time Believing you will never get what you want or need in life