Why Traditional Self-Care Doesn’t Work for Everyone

While those tools can be helpful, they don’t work for everyone. It's okay if bubble baths, shopping, or time outside aren't for you. Therapy can help people redefine self-care in ways that are practical, realistic, and personal. Real self-care should reduce stress, not add to it.

For some people, stillness increases anxiety. For others, quiet feels unsafe. Many neurodivergent people need movement, sensory input, or structure to feel regulated. True self-care isn’t about what’s trending or what works for others, it’s about learning what actually supports your nervous system.

One way to explore what works for you is through love languages. The way you give and receive love or care can offer clues about what kinds of self-care feel most supportive to you.

• Quality Time — journaling, yoga, meditation, or quiet time alone

• Physical Touch — exercise, stretching, massage, or weighted blankets

• Words of Affirmation — reading, music, affirmations, or writing

• Acts of Service — cleaning, volunteering, organizing, making lists, or planning

• Gifts — treating yourself, planning something special, or giving to others

  
  

If you’d like to explore your love language, you can take the Gary Chapman quiz (link).

If you’re comfortable sharing, comment with your love language and the type of self-care that helps you most. Your answer might help someone else find something new to try.